I appreciated Forward's can-do, positive attitude throughout the chapters, carefully placed pick-me-ups right at crucial points in the reading where it was easy to get bogged down. You don't have to be the victim of an unloving mother to learn from this book. I am very grateful to Susan Forward in writing this book. Even if they did, I did not appreciate reading the stories. Although nothing new, it remains validating and that is still important.
I decided to read this book after seeing it recommended by one woman who had grown up with a narcissist mother to another. It explains so much about why I have struggled with my mother daughter relationship. Or she can sit on those feeling and defend herself against the pain by acting in hurtful and inappropriate ways--just like her mother did. Let's just say my mother and I have not had a good relationship, and it has deteriorated considerably over time. She talks about a taboo topic in this book. Psychotherapist Jasmin Lee Cori has helped thousands of men and women heal the hidden wounds left by every kind of undermothering. Subjected to years of criticism, competition, role reversal, smothering control, emotional neglect, and other forms of abuse, women raised by mothers who can't love are plagued by anxiety, depression, relationship problems, lack of confidence, and difficulties with trust.
It's all sick and sadistic. The book then ends on a prescriptive note. I think it's a bit harsh; there could have been a different title, but y'know, it is what it is, and I guess there are mothers out there who don't really know how to healthily love their child. Additionally, I had a few other problems with the book: 1 Forward advises her clients to tie messages to the strings of helium balloons and release them into the environment. And because the child doesn't understand something, they are stupid. I agree with the author that most people, if they're just starting this healing journey, will need to work this process with the help of a therapist and shouldn't be reading this book without help.
And per, Forward, it's probably not a good idea to put all your boundaries in place at once. In their own eyes, they are never good enough, never lovable enough, never smart or pretty or acceptable enough to deserve success and happiness. Very compassionate, very insightful and very strong. Forward begins by covering the different types of dysfunctional mothers I decided to read this book after seeing it recommended by one woman who had grown up with a narcissist mother to another. It was described as an amazing book that could really help with understanding those dynamics and learning to move forward in a healthy way.
The only thing that kind of made me cringe, is the title. The sexual abuse didn't apply, but that was a painful section to read, how can people do that? With approaches drawn from psychology and other disciplines and with unique exercises, the book will help the listener tackle her own self-doubt and become consciously aware of how her mother's treatment continues to shape her behavior. If you're looking for permission to heal, to overcome and summon your strength to find joy and meaning for yourself, this is the book. A lot of this could have come from my own head, if I knew how to put it into words or remembered it all well enough to put down. In more than 35 years as a therapist, Forward has worked with large numbers of women struggling to escape the emotional damage inflicted by the women who raised them. Although I have read much in the literature of Narcissistic Parents, I still found Forward's framework to be useful.
I could relate to several of them, but they are more extreme than anything I encountered. What other book might you compare Mothers Who Can't Love to and why? However, I found that the none of the exercises connected with me. Considering the topic of the book, I think the author did a wonderful job tailoring the voice of the book -- a voice that's nurturing, delicate, and loving. J'ai donc énormément aimé ce point de vue de l'auteur, qui cesse de faire culpabiliser la victime, de la laisser souffrir en silence, sous prétexte qu'une mère on peut tout lui passer, tout lui excuser. In a warm, accessible voice, Forward encourages women to, step by step, rebuild their sense of confidence, self-worth, and self-respect, offering wounded daughters healing, affirming tools. I read what I needed in one day because the book is broken down into different sections according to where your mother falls, such as narcissist, enmeshed, control freak, etc.
This book is about validating those who had abusive or neglectful mothers, and how to heal and move on. I was just curious whether this book would give me new insights that might be useful. This book, the first written specifically for children of borderline parents, offers step-by-step guidance to understanding and overcoming the lasting effects of being raised by a person suffering from this disorder. She has not even met the vast majority of us. I thought I was the only going through the pain regarding my mother, but no, to my relief there are many daughters like me going through the same thing.
They can find in themselves-and in this book-the wisdom and warmth they've searched for for so long. Subjected to years of criticism, competition, role-reversal, smothering control, emotional neglect and abuse, these women are plagued by anxiety and depression, relationship problems, lack of confidence and difficulties with trust. She can struggle through the process of coming to terms with her feelings and use them to guide her to clarity and change. Susan Forward gives 5 categories of unloving mothers. In addition to her private practice, she has served as a therapist, instructor and consultant for many Southern California psychiatric and medical facilities. There's a lot of emotional work to be done, but it can be done.
By freeing yourself from your parents' emotional immaturity, you can recover your true nature, control how you react to them, and avoid disappointment. This is a very good self-help book for those with crazy mothers. First, it still felt an invasive of privacy and offensive that the reader is forced to participate in the practice. The client examples were very helpful and you can't help but feel for these women especially the ones who had similar upbringings as yourself and their tarnished sense of selves. Subjected to years of criticism, competition, role-reversal, smothering control, emotional neglect and abuse, these women are plagued by anxiety and depression, relationship problems, lack of confidence and difficulties with trust. The children in such narcissistic family systems try to earn love. I would recommend this book for any daughter or son who had an emotionally distant or abusive mother.